
In this post Mrs Carol DeMar (the wife of Dr. Gary DeMar) gives us some principles to consider with respect to modesty; those who know me well will know that I am definitely not a Fundamentalist legalist, however, the standard of dress among Reformed females does not impress me. Remember that Christian liberty is not a licence to do whatever suits you at the expense of the welfare of other people, and Christian ladies need to consider whether or not they are abusing Christian liberty to the point that they are causing others to sin. Anyway, Mrs DeMar gives us the following food for thought:
Buying Into Modesty
Girls beg their mothers to buy them the latest fashions. Magazines, movies, and television bombard all of us with what we should wear and how we should act. Mom gives in to her daughter who becomes propagandized by the ad hype with how to be sexy, popular, or pretty, because Mom is weary of battling the clothing issue. It’s easier to hand over the money even if it means Susie dresses like some temptress. “And behold, a woman comes to meet him, dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. She is boisterous and rebellious; her feet do not remain at home” (Prov. 7:10–11). Permitting daughters to encourage impure thoughts by their immodest clothing is sinful. Teach your daughter to walk in dignity as a child of the King.
Parents must combat the media machine that is continually thrusting anti-Christian behavior, dress, and attitudes upon us. An all out war is being fought for the minds and bodies of your children, seducing them with visual delights that entice and corrupt, not unlike weak Edmund succumbing to the tasty Turkish Delight offered by the White Witch in C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Constant parental vigilance is necessary to protect children from the onslaught of impropriety that assails them during their every waking hour.
Set standards and abide by them. Permitting a daughter to wear a dress that shouts “Easy!” misleads others into thinking that she may have loose morals. Fathers must participate in teaching modesty to their children. Fathers show how much they love their daughters by preventing them from appearing as harlots. Nixing your daughter’s dress choice because of its immodesty may cause her disappointment for a brief time but will show her how much Dad cares for her in the long run. Modesty begins in the heart, and it takes both parents working together training their daughter to live a godly life. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom. 12:2).
Bra Straps Are Inappropriate Any Time
I am compelled to bring this up, because I am on bra strap overload—girls and women should never wear clothing where bra straps are visible! It doesn’t matter if the straps are clear plastic, colorful, or covered in polka dots; they should remain under wraps at all times. I have seen girls and women wearing dresses or tops that exposed several straps, including bra straps. This is not attractive. This is not a fashion statement. This is not how a lady presents herself. Wear an undergarment that remains hidden from public view! That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Look Upon That Which is Pure
The visual testimony (how one dresses, behaves, etc.) is powerful and often is used to draw conclusions about an individual. Children must be taught the basics of presenting a positive impression. This is not about trying to deceive—it’s about presenting a message to the world about who you are as a Christian. Modesty must be incorporated into the daily lessons parents are teaching their children. Immodesty is too often reflected in Christians. “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion” (Prov. 11:22).
If Mom is dressing inappropriately, how can we expect daughter to dress properly? Philippians 4:8 instructs us accordingly: “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.” It is difficult to dwell on pure thoughts when Christians are failing in the modesty department. Be a positive role model for your children by wearing clothing suitable for a man or woman who follows Christ.
Choosing friends who are Christ-like in their attitudes, talk, and dress helps to reinforce those qualities in children. Develop friendships with other families who value these same qualities. “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Prov. 13:20).
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